Featured Article (Women and Money)
“What I've Learned About Giving”
Karol Emmerich – October 1999
I've been asked to share what I've learned about giving. I need to preface my remarks by saying that although I've been at it for more than 20 years, it's usually taken the back seat to job and family. I'm not yet an expert. But I'm well along the journey and may have some insights and experiences which you'll find helpful.
I believe effective giving requires three things:
Getting one's heart prepared
Getting one's mind prepared
Practicing or experimenting
I'd like to start with the heart, since it's the most important element of giving. And the best instructor of all on this subject is God! There are five things to remember:
First, “All that we are and all that we have has been given to us by God.” I Chronicles 29:14
Second, everything we have belongs to Him. We are merely stewards of God's treasure, and all of it should be used to glorify Him. When we give money to God's work, we are only giving back what is His.
Third, treasure sent to heaven lasts forever. Unlike treasure on earth, treasure in heaven is not affected by thieves or moths or lawsuits or poor financial markets or bad investments or crooked advisors or confiscatory taxes or squabbling heirs. We're told in the Bible that our thoughts and hearts are generally in the place where our treasure is.
Fourth, God doesn’t need our money. He can fulfill His purposes without our money. After all, how much money do you think the apostles had? However, He gives us the opportunity and the privilege to participate in His purposes through our giving.
Fifth, our willingness and our obedience are what matter to Him. I believe that at different points in our lives God may ask us to give up something which is important to us. It might be money; it might be a job, or any number of other things. Why? Perhaps because He wants to know where our hearts are, because He wants us to know where our hearts are, or because He has a different path for us to follow.
God’s Word Has a Lot to Say About How We Should Give (II Corinthians 8 and 9)
We should give:
With Gratitude and Glory to God
Cheerfully, Joyfully, with Delight, with Enthusiasm, and with Love
Willingly, and Not Under Pressure
Simply, and Without Pretense
With No Ulterior Motive
Liberally and Sacrificially, Not Just Our Leftovers Proportionately: i.e. Those who have more should give more in absolute terms, as well as in percentage of income or net worth terms.
Out of What We Have, Not What We Haven’t: We should not give or commit to give so much that it causes us to go deeply into debt.
With Faith
Fairly
Thoughtfully, Wisely, Seeking God’s Counsel and Perhaps that of Fellow Believers
In Partnership With Others (I Corinthians 16:2)
And Finally, With the Expectation that the Recipient Will Praise God for Our Help, Be Accountable, and Not Have an Easy Time at Our Expense.
Giving anonymously is a fine idea, but there may be times when God wants you to be open about it as an encouragement to others. Just make sure that's the real reason and that you've heard from God.
For some people, giving comes easily. That's because they have what's called the spiritual gift of giving—a marvelous gift bestowed on them by God at the time they became a believer. It is the God-given ability to contribute money and resources to the work of the Lord with cheerfulness and liberality.
If giving doesn’t come easily, ask for God’s help
God’s Word Tells Us Who We Should Give To:
Our Families: I Timothy 5:8 - "But anyone who won't care for his own relatives when they need help, especially those living in his own family, has no right to say he is a Christian. Such a person is worse than the heathen."
Second, we're to give in order to Spread the Gospel
Third, I Timothy 5:17 tells us to give to Christian work and workers.
And fourth, we're to give to the poor (Proverbs 28:27, Luke 14:12-14). In Matthew 24-25, it would appear that our first priority is to help our Christian brothers and sisters. And most would argue that scripture calls for helping only the responsible poor.
Philanthropy Through a Woman’s Eyes
Sondra Shaw and Martha Taylor wrote a book entitled Reinventing Fundraising: Realizing the Potential of Women's Philanthropy, and found that women are motivated by the following:
The ability to bring about change and make a difference. Causes which help others or make the world a better place are popular.
The ability to create something. Many women regard their projects as they would their children in terms of long-term commitment and responsibility.
The ability to feel connected to the organization they're giving to.
The ability to celebrate what's been accomplished.
They also found that women and men tend to approach giving differently:
Women are committed to giving, although their expression of this commitment has traditionally been through volunteer work.
Women think in terms of collaboration, creating partnerships, sharing ideas, whereas evidence shows that men have more difficulty, perhaps because they want to get credit for their ideas, protect their empires, etc.?
Men can be motivated to give because of peer pressure, but that's usually ineffective with women. A better way is to ask a woman to join with others to make a difference.
Once a man gives money, the process may end, whereas for a woman it is only the beginning.
Men think in terms of doing big deals, creating big organizations, building big buildings - some might call it amassing or marking their territory. Women, on the other hand, think more about people, about relationships, and are put off by funding buildings unless they can see a clear link as to how the building will be used to specifically and tangibly help the people they want to serve.
Women take a lot longer to make up their minds, and they're much more cautious. However, once committed to something, they tend to stay with it longer than a man might.
Many men think in terms of statistics. Women want to hear stories, or better yet, meet the people being served. While the men are asking about the numbers, the women are trying to get to know the heart of the executive director and the team doing the service.
Women tend to give spontaneously when they're moved by an issue, rather than in a more planned, strategic way. I've found that effective giving requires both brain and heart.
Women think philanthropy is a strange word, and doesn't describe what they do when they give money.
Many women think that sitting around a table reviewing grant requests is too impersonal and analytical.
Barriers to Philanthropy
Despite the strengths women bring to the giving process, there are characteristics common to many women which present barriers to their development as philanthropists.
First is fear of the future, or the "bag lady syndrome." As women age, they have an increasing fear that their money won't last and that they'll become bag ladies. As a result, most are reluctant to give away their assets before they die, even if they're worth millions and millions of dollars. For the same reason, many are reluctant to make pledges which commit them to give money several years into the future, even though this type of giving is a common way of raising money for major projects.
Dying with a lot of money that the government will just end up confiscating isn't good stewardship. I'd encourage you to spend time reviewing your financial situation with a professional who understands your faith and stewardship values. You may learn that you have more than you think, and that there are ways to give while you're alive which will protect your income as you age.
Second is unfamiliarity with financial matters. Many view anything related to money as a "man's" thing. Even though nearly 90% of all women will be solely responsible for their finances at some point in their lives, only about 12% of women actually make their own investments.
Third, many women view the family assets and income as "his" money and see the stewardship of wealth as "his" obligation, and are therefore reluctant to take a proactive, sizable role in giving. This can occur even in women employed outside the home if their husbands significantly out-earn them.
Fourth, many women don't want people to know they have money. They're concerned that their relationships may change if people find out they have money. Many are afraid of being "hustled" by aggressive fundraisers, and they may even fear for their physical safety if word gets out that they have money.
Fifth, some hold religious beliefs that encourage anonymous giving. I'm all in favor of that, but you can become so anonymous that you're out of the information flow, which can hinder wise giving decisions.
Sixth, one of the best ways to learn about things is to ask questions. But many women are reluctant to do that in mixed groups; they're worried about appearing to be stupid and want to learn in a "safer" environment.
And finally, women are often cut out of the giving process by their spouses.
As I think about all of this, I love the fact that we're part of a body made up of different parts, that each part is needed, and that each part needs to be functioning effectively if the whole body is to function well. I'm grateful that He loves each of us, and has designed us to have a special relationship to Him - serving Him in a way that is uniquely our own based on how He has created us.
