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Me and My RT
Gay Brookshire, Royal Treasure Board Member
When I first attended a Royal Treasure Symposium back in 1998, I didn’t exactly know what to expect. My husband certainly didn’t know, but was happy to let me go. What harm
could it do? He thought it was cute.
One of the things I came to understand at the symposium was that I had a 90% chance of being solely responsible at some point in my life for my
own finances and I didn’t have a clue about what to do. I had also recently watched my mother handle the death of my stepfather and the sudden responsibility of personal finance. She was
swimming in a sea of muddy water and didn’t know where to turn! I met others at the symposium who had the same experience and realized that I could easily become a widow of means with no
knowledge of personal finance and with wolves at the door waiting to "give me advice" or to help me "unload my burden."
When I got home I was so full of
information and ideas and couldn’t wait to talk to my husband about it all. He has always assured me that I’d have nothing to worry about if he died, and I had no reason to doubt him. When I
expressed my concern about not knowing anything about our family finances, our will, our estate plan, etc., I thought my husband would simply and lovingly fill me in and assure me that
everything was under control. Well...he simply assured me that everything was under control and that he would handle the family finances and that I shouldn’t worry myself about it. He
reminded me that I would be well taken care of in the event of his death. When I pressed him for details and explanations, he got defensive and accused me of not trusting him to take care of
me. He felt a little threatened by the motives of RT and he simply did not understand many of the same things that I hadn’t understood until I attended the symposium.
At that point I
began to understand the scope of what I didn’t know. I had no idea whether we had a will and if we did, what provisions it might contain. I did not understand any of the vehicles of finance
except checking and savings accounts and money market funds. My understanding of any sort of philanthropic effort was limited to giving to my church and occasional pet projects. I received
lots and lots of requests for donations in the mail and struggled with choosing where to give. The people who I knew had experience with these things brushed off my questions and I understood
that money was not considered appropriate for polite conversation. In fact the topic of money makes people, especially women, very uneasy. And maybe most important of all, we had three young
daughters who would someday be women of means and who needed to be instructed in managing it well and being good stewards of God’s blessings to them.
What I found at Royal Treasure
were women who were willing to share whatever they knew or had experienced. I learned of situations I had not even thought of when women there shared their experiences and how they may not
have been prepared. There is no reason to learn everything the hard way when someone is willing to share their lessons.
And it is never too early to prepare. Since I am only 40, I
hope it will be a long while before I will come face to face with these issues. I have always felt that God has blessed me for a specific reason and that the affluence carried with it some
responsibility, although I didn’t know what it was. I have come to understand that God sees me as a steward of what is His and I, therefore, have an obligation to educate myself and those who
come after me to be the best stewards that we can be.
Once I was able to settle my husband down, I was able to explain to him that it was precisely because I trusted him that I was
asking him questions now. I didn’t want to wait until he was gone and be unprepared for the barrage of issues I would face. I wanted to address them now while I had him to show me and help me
learn what was pertinent. I wanted him to help me take the material I had learned at Royal Treasure and decide what would be important for us as a family.
My husband now respects my
involvement with Royal Treasure (although he still thinks I’m cute!) and has been an encourager to me. He feels secure in the idea that Royal Treasure is helping me become more confident and
competent in all areas of our personal finance, including giving. He doesn’t quite understand the idea that women need a safe place, and perhaps some don't, but he accepts it. I don’t believe
he thinks I’m a financial genius or anything, but I think he respects my attempts to become more knowledgeable. I think he feels more comfortable knowing that I won’t be taken advantage of
when he’s gone.
I know that I have found a place and women with whom I can relax and breathe and learn from and maybe even come along side. Many of the women I’ve met, with whom I
thought I had little in common, have come to be so valuable to me and for me: as mentors, as peers, as a network and even as friends! Royal Treasure has been such a blessing to me. But I
believe "My RT and I" is the correct grammar.
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