Why I am involved with Royal Treasure by Gay Brookshire
Me AND MY RT – Gay Brookshire
When I first attended a Royal Treasure Symposium, back in 1998, I didn’t exactly know what to expect when I got there. My husband certainly didn’t know, but was happy to let me go. What harm could it do? He thought it was cute.
When I got home, I was so full of information and ideas and couldn’t wait to talk to my husband about it all. I had also recently watched my mother handle the death of my stepfather and the sudden responsibility of personal finance. She was swimming in a sea of muddy water-and didn’t know where to turn! I’d met some women at the symposium with the same story as hers. It occurred to me that I could easily end up in the same boat: a widow of means, with no knowledge of personal finance, and wolves at the door waiting to “give me advice” or to help me “unload my burden”.
My husband has always assured me that I’d have nothing to worry about if he died, and I had no reason to doubt him. But, suddenly, I began to doubt what I knew and myself (and rightly so). When I expressed my concern about not knowing anything about our family finances, our will, our estate plan, etc., I thought my husband would simply and lovingly fill me in and assure me that everything was under control. Well…he simply assured me that everything was under control and the he would handle the family finances and that I shouldn’t worry myself about it. He reminded me that I would be well taken care of in the event of his death. When I pressed him for details and explanations, he got defensive and accused me of not trusting him to take care of me. He felt a little threatened by the motives of RT and he simply did not understand many of the same things that I didn’t understand (until I attended my first symposium).
One of the things I came to understand was that I would be, at some point (statistically), soley responsible for my finances and that I didn’t have a clue. I realized that though neither of us is old, either of us could be hit by a car and leave the other behind with 3 children still at home to raise. I realized that I had 3 children at home to raise and, to somehow instill in them an understanding of being “entrusted” rather than “entitled”, as well as an understanding of Godly stewardship and what that means. I realized that my 3 children were all girls who would eventually become women of some means and have all kinds of issues to deal with in that regard. I realized that I had no idea whether we had a will and if we did what provision it might contain. I had no understanding of any vehicles of finance except a checking account, savings account or a money market. I realized that my understanding of any sort of philanthropic effort was limited to giving to my church and occasional pet projects. I also received lots and lots of requests for donations in the mail (and then, had a hard time choosing whom to give to, as they were all such good causes). I understood that the only people I knew who had any experience with all this sort of thing were either family members or acquaintances who didn’t speak of such things and that money or related topics were not considered polite conversation. I have even experienced being dismissed by some when I tried to bring up the subject. The topic of money makes people (especially women) very uneasy. Still, I had nowhere to go for questions, guidance, trust or a safe place to learn and even fail. No one who’d gone before me that was willing to show me the ropes.
I realize that I’m relatively young (40) to be thinking long term. I certainly hope I won’t have to deal with finances on my own for a long time to come. But I have always felt that God has put me where he has for a specific reason, and that carried with it some responsibility. I still don’t completely know what that is, but I do know that it has been entrusted to me. I know that God sees me as a steward of what is His and I therefore have an obligation to educate myself and those who come behind me, to be the best steward that I can be with what God has given me. I believe that is really every person’s duty, no matter his or her situation in life.
At any rate, what I found at Royal Treasure were women who were willing to share what they knew, whatever that was, whatever their experience had taught them. I found women who could show me that I had concerns that I didn’t even know about, because they had been willing t share some situations they’d not been prepared for. I learned that there’s no reason to learn everything the hard way when there is someone willing to share their lesson. I learned that it was never too early to prepare yourself.
Once I was able to settle my husband down, I was able to explain to him that is was precisely because I trusted him that I was asking questions now. I didn’t want to wait until he was gone and be unprepared for the barrage of issues I would face. I wanted to address them now, while I had him to show me and help me learn what was pertinent. I wanted him to help me take what I learn at Royal Treasure and decide what applies to me. I wanted to take what I learned at Royal Treasure and help my husband see what he might not have realized applies to me. Royal Treasure has been such a ministry to me.
My husband now respects my involvement with Royal Treasure (although he still thinks I’m cute!) and has been an encourager to me. He feels secure in the idea that Royal Treasure is helping me to become more confident and competent in all areas of our personal finance. Including giving. He doesn’t quite understand the idea that women need a safe place, (and perhaps some do not, but I did) but he accepts it. I don’t believe he thinks I’m a financial genius or anything, but I think he respects my attempts to become more knowledgeable. I think he feels more comfortable knowing that I won’t be taken advantage of when he’s gone.
I know that I have found a place and women with whom I can relax and breathe and learn from and maybe even come along side. Many of the women I’ve met, with whom I thought I had little in common, have come to be so valuable to me and for me: as mentors, as peers, as a network and even as friends! Royal Treasure has been such a blessing to me. But I believe the correct grammar is “my RT and I”!
Last updated: 16/04/2009
